Many of my friends (and clients too!) roll in social justice circles. We discuss feminism and equality and all the wonderful things that happen in the world. They've taught me much—the difference between equality and equity, what is emotional labour, why a group that was formed because it was excluded by another want to exclude. What's right, and what's wrong. One of the my main learnings of skilful communication is to not take be wary of taking a position. Positional arguments gloss over the needs of the conflicted parties; you're more likely to gain mutual understanding and rapport if you back up and build your solution collaboratively on shared values, and a collaborative process will, in a virtuous cycle, build rapport and understanding. Be wary
social justiceA -post collection
Take a breath. It's uncomfortable to be confronted. That's OK. Remember - it doesn't make you a bad person to enjoy privileges. Even if the person calling you out may have been angry, and you may have strong feelings yourself about whatever you're talking about. Even if. This is a good time to say, "Right. Let me think about that and get back to you." Asking for more time to think is totally OK. Ask yourself: "Is it true?" If you had bowled someone over with your unchecked privilege, dang, yo, but it isn't the end of the world. Go for a run, do something physical, let the emotional charge dissipate. Go into the conversation again with the new knowledge. Apologize if
Kaja Sadowski of Valkyrie Women Martial Arts Assembly, wrote this awesome essay on equality: When Equal Isn't Equal, or Why Doesn't My School Have More Women It is all, of course, applicable to other industries and areas of life. A very eloquent reminder that treating everyone equally isn't necessarily equitable.
Hats off to Daisie for sharing this podcast: When Women Stopped Coding I'm one of those lucky gals who had a software engineering father. He brought home computers to tinker with and we had internet dial-up as soon as it was available—way before any of my friends had computers. While I don't think my dad's particularly feminist, he's definitely pro-Fishtron and I'm so glad he and I took apart and put together computers together and read comic books in our free time. I'm conflicted about our toy selection at home. The rugrats being male, the toys that come into our lives tend to be trucks and cars and trains, with the occasional dinosaur. They each have stuffies that I strongly promote—and we make skirts