non-violent communication

A -post collection

Meet Despair with Hope, Anger with Forgiveness, and Feed Both with Gratitude

Last month I went to Activate, conference-retreat and, as was the case last time at Hollyhock, I underwent a transformative experience. Last time the setting was different—it was a conflict skills workshop, where hours and hours of internal work was expected. This time, although I was there to network and improve digital skills, the grounds and people still gave me space to grow, which was amazing. I picked up more than a few nuggets of gold that I can here and now refine into a guide post of sorts. Speak to the emotion Mo Dhaliwal's lecture was about using branding to speak to the audience's emotional brain, rather than the rational brain. Tyler Michaels briefly touched on using scripted chat boxes to reach audiences at

Read more

Tough on ideas, not the person

Many of my friends (and clients too!) roll in social justice circles. We discuss feminism and equality and all the wonderful things that happen in the world. They've taught me much—the difference between equality and equity, what is emotional labour, why a group that was formed because it was excluded by another want to exclude. What's right, and what's wrong. One of the my main learnings of skilful communication is to not take be wary of taking a position. Positional arguments gloss over the needs of the conflicted parties; you're more likely to gain mutual understanding and rapport if you back up and build your solution collaboratively on shared values, and a collaborative process will, in a virtuous cycle, build rapport and understanding. Be wary

Read more

NVC Scenario Post Mortem: "You Never Do Anything/I'm Feeling Overwhelmed"

There's an illness in the family and our collective resources got stretched pretty thin. My schedule was thrown out of whack, while simultaneously my workload increased (a good thing, really). Add to the mix an ambitious partner who is practicing hard for a half-marathon (another good thing in any other time) and the result is a Halfling who threw a tantrum big enough to shock a three-year-old to offer mummy hugs to "feel me better." What happened? One night a few weeks ago, I stuck myself in a classic "victim" story in my head about how I want to travel but can't, because children and work and money and Mr Halfling wouldn't be able to take time off and I can't find

Read more